My mind is blissfully blank. It is quiet, peaceful, uncluttered. It feels unaware of surrounding demands. Pictures of rolling royal waters, cool green shade, nature living as unhurried as it does; is all I see. The sensation offarm and water air still pressed to my skin. Memories of the ease with one’s neighbors, a new pal made for the day, the season, and just small town mannerisms tugs at my heart. What could have been. Sepia pictures of old friends, former family members, occasions past; slide like a video short through the front of my thoughts, yet don’t prick me like they used to. My time spent on these days away was casual, unrushed. Absent was fear, fear of deprivation, fear of failure, fear of appearances. This was a break from agenda, routine, normal worries. I was mostly unplugged for 96 hours. For four days the world had to wait. Mom needed to breath. A co-worker needed to get her head on straight again. A friend needed to step out of herself. My mind needed to not be needed.
I took a brief vacation from my lovely city life, frought with it’s grittiness, over-work, over-stress, over-demands. I stepped away to step back in with appreciation, love, gratitude, and desire to connect. I went home to see how far I’ve come, what I over came, what don’t like, what parts of me still really struggle with those miles. I went home to give life to the parts of me that only get life from going home. A large part of who I am is rural, is counrty, is boondocks. My wild needs a glimps that it’s soul is still there. That when the tme is right, when the money allows, when a whole can be built; I want to go home, wherever that home may be.
I feel stronger. I feel happier. I feel much more balanced and complete. I need to be able to see my child and exercise my parenting muscles. I need to be able to visit the past to put the present and future in proper perspective knowing that I am indeed one strong cookie.
Now I am home. I am at my employer’s and while still on vaction, duty called and I picked up the phone. Time to turn my brain on. Time to be grateful for plenty of hours. Time to connect to those that like me and those we serve. Time to embrace my lovely city life for a short shift. A princess for 4 hours.
Then I am down with Pixar! I want to know what Fido does while I work. Or in my case, Thumper.