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I am currently out-of-state. I was speeding and was pulled over and ticketed. Not great, but okay. Crap happens. However, the officer informed me that my driver’s license has been suspended by my state. Hummmm….. I have not a clue why. I spent a considerable time on-line and the phone trying to find out why. Haven’t found out yet. I will keep calling.

In the meantime I have done some further research, and found out it could be for some very difficult to resolve issues thus leaving me unable to drive for a long time. Sadly, I am used to very large, nearly unmanageable, restrictions put on me because someone or some institution wants what they want regardless of my needs or abilities. While I am getting pretty frightened and mad; I am determined not to let two years of hard recovery be derailed. I am determined that whatever this issue is, I am not changing course in getting my needs met, staying on budget, and resisting demands that I cannot meet. I will cling to my Wall of work, my values and my life. My safety needs will be first and above all else. This is not a peer-reviewed paper, so I am citing Wikipedia as my source for the content below as from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Physiological Safety Needs

Physiological needs are the physical requirements for human survival. If these requirements are not met, the human body cannot function properly and will ultimately fail. Physiological needs are thought to be the most important; they should be met first.

Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans.  I need to add additional needs such as ventilation, air purification, freedom from toxins, sunlight including lighting, water storage, refrigeration, and the ability to cook food for my needs. Natural lighting is critical to treating my depression. Water storage is important because my apartment building does not have adequate water pressure leaving me unable to bathe and do dishes at times. I also buy water as it is not softened and the build up on dishes, fixtures, my hair, plant saucers, and pet bowls occasionally really gets to me. I include refrigeration because I have lived without it, and the ability to cook for the same reason. Even now I do not have cooking gas to operate my stove/oven.

Shelter and clothing provide necessary protection from the elements. I would add heat from the cold and humidification, air conditioning from heat and humidity, and possibly a dehumidifier.  I have really bad allergies and am prone to upper respiratory infections, hence I need low humidity. Shelter also needs to be secure from personal, property, and sustenance destruction and violation. Shelter needs to be safe from predators and disease. These my seem obvious but they are not if you have lived with abuse, vermin and or mold.

While maintaining an adequate birth rate shapes the intensity of the human sexual instinct, sexual competition may also shape said instinct.[2] I would argue that sex is not necessarily a physiological need, but physical contact with another human and or animal is required to combat isolation and loneliness. I believe most living things need other living things to thrive, and at times to survive. I am one of them. I must have furry companions.

With their physical needs relatively satisfied, the individual’s safety needs take precedence and dominate behavior. In the absence of physical safety – due to war, natural disaster, family violence, childhood abuse, etc. – people may (re-)experience post-traumatic stress disorder or transgenerational trauma. In the absence of economic safety – due to economic crisis and lack of work opportunities – these safety needs manifest themselves in ways such as a preference for job security, grievance procedures for protecting the individual from unilateral authority, savings accounts, insurance policies, reasonable disability accommodations, etc. This level is more likely to be found in children because they generally have a greater need to feel safe. I personally have horrendous safety issues related to Complex PTSD.

Safety and Security needs include:

Personal security

Safety from harassment from debt not related to housing, transportation, communication, and well-being maintenance.

Transportation needs to maintain personal security.  How am I to get home from a late night job?

Communication needs as in telephone.

Financial security

Job security

Transportation needs to maintain job security. How am I to get to and from a job without public transportation and without others to drive me?

How am I to maintain my car?

Communication needs to maintain my finances.

This includes a cell phone to make calls regarding my job, bank accounts, flexible spending accounts, debts owed, and health care.

Communication needs including a computer, printer, and internet to maintain job, financial, and health needs. Many institutions are online only, insisting on online billing, payments, statements, and notifications.  This need also includes utilization software, protection software and maintenance of computers and printers .

Health and well-being

Transportation  to maintain my health as in getting health care.

Transportation to exercise to maintain my body. Without a functioning physical body I cannot sustain anything else.

Transportation to church, support groups, and mental health services as needed.

Communication needs to maintain safety needs, health needs and social contact.

This includes a cell phone, computer and printer to receive text messages, email, social media, and organizational tools such as PDAs.

Sufficient household needs such as a bed, a table, cleaning products and those for personal hygiene such as toilet paper, Kleenex and bathing supplies.

Safety net against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts

I would add safety net from the outside world and myself.

Cash on hand, some savings, insurance policies, location of home relative to job, health maintenance physical, mental and spiritual.

Alternate means of transportation or the ability to get it. This may include a bicycle, a public transportation card, cash for a taxis, a computer or cell phone for contact, route, and expense information, and the means for time reallocation. That is, being emotionally and financially secure enough to let some things go, reschedule, or adapt to a limitation or an excess of time.

Comfort items or the means to derive comfort.

These items can be anywhere from a blanket to a cell phone to a book to a body of work, or even a pet. Everyone needs a place to go when fearful, injured, sick, tired, or other wise off-balance.

To maintain safety, one needs the ability to ground and regroup. I especially, need to be able to get myself in the here and now. I need to be able to reality check on my own and see my progress. I need contant reminders to tow the line I have laid out for myself and that this line is for my safety, well-being, success, and happines. It is easy to forget when you are used to tossing everthing aside at the whims of others.

Comfort items or experiences to validate me, give me hope, and energize me enough to continue on.

I am currently indanger of my default mode of suidal ideation over having no idea why I can’t drive. The real possibility that it is something huge and not easily resolved is horribley frightening to me.

I need to sleep and call my state’s DMV yet again. I pray that it is not something huge.